Archive Guide
Archive…guide?
Yes. Instead of an index of months and years, this is a guide. This is because I’ve got over 275 blog posts to dig through, and going by date alone is both boring and, honestly, not helpful.
My blog has existed for about fifteen years (as of 2026), or basically my entire adult life. Throughout that time, I’ve changed a lot in some ways and not much in others. I used to be a dedicated conservative Christian, and when I started going to college, my goal was to spread the good news of Jesus. Now I’m an atheist leftist, unpacking the racism and injustice I once supported. I thought I was supposed to be a wife and mother of many children. Now I know I’m not a woman at all. I’ve been out as non-binary and pansexual for several years. Here is an overview with highlights. It's not a fully exhaustive index, but I will continue updating it as I can.
Speaking up about being abused in my early years
In October 2014, I started talking about my parents’ abuse. Below are the highlights from those first posts. While they initially had hundreds of comments, those comments have been lost over the years of preserving these archives.
Melting Memory Masks
Podcast Transcript: The Deleted Confession
The Breakthrough Moment
Why Does This Have to be Public?
Why Mom Never Told Us
'We Didn't Kick You Out.'
How a Logical Girl Talked Herself into Fundamentalism, Part 1
How a Logical Girl Talked Herself into Fundamentalism, Part 2
How a Logical Girl Talked Herself into Fundamentalism, Part 3
Of Course It Wasn’t All Bad
'I’m Sorry You Lost Your Kids.’
Drinking from the Final Straw
How I Questioned What I Was Taught
Losing grip on eternity: Part 1: Foundations and Questions
Losing Grip on Eternity, Part 2: Heaven as an Excuse
Losing grip on eternity, Part 3: Grief and Finality
Losing Grip on Eternity, Part 4: Feeling Infinite
Losing Grip on Eternity, Part 5: Finding Purpose
Compassion as a Prerequisite to Questioning
To the Imperfect Ones
Letter of Self-Compassion: Hell
The God Question
Analysis of dysfunction
In these highlighted posts, I explain more and narrate less of my immediate memories. I weave into the stories my own thoughts on what dynamics were at play. Particularly in this first post, I talk about how my parents said they loved us frequently, but hadn't the faintest idea how to demonstrate it.
The Love Label
Born to Breed
'She Doesn't Smile Much'
Those Who Wish to Seem
Freeing Self-Deceived Fundamentalists
Identifying Manipulative Abuse Tactics
Alecia Pennington, Identity Abuse, and Me
Grieving the Mask
When Positivity is the Problem
When Parents Idealize Themselves
Setting the Record Straight
On TLC and in my parents' books, there was a specific narrative about my parents as the victims of their "rebellious" children. This was especially true of my oldest sister, Alicia. I wanted to clarify my own perspective about the events surrounding how she was excommunicated from the family.
When A Child is Taught to Hate: My Version of the Alicia Story, Part 1
When a Child is Taught to Hate: My Version of the Alicia Story, Part 2
‘Stop Saying We’re Keeping Your Siblings from You.’
Being a Perfect Victim
Escaping My Abuser in Adulthood
Groomed
Close Clarity
Unpacking Educational Neglect
What I Do and Don’t Know
My Homeschool Transcript
Homeschooled to Prevent Education
Different Approaches to Homeschooling
Exploring My Queer Identity
Purity Culture and My Sexuality
The Meaning of Marriage
Music Has Many Rests
Mental Illness, C-PTSD, and Neurodivergence
Creative Flow (Futility Revisited)
The Trauma Tug-of-War
Prioritizing Recovery
Writing and Trauma Recovery
Writing with C-PTSD
Coping Skills
Political Analysis
How I Got Burned Out On Current Events and Politics by Age 19
(Almost) Hopeless
My Patriotic Education
The Barriers to Stable Housing
Trauma and Justice
Learning How to be Effective
The Right to Not Reproduce
Radical Thoughts About the Anti-Work Movement
Ethics Analysis
The Moral Bankruptcy of Evangelical Ethics, Part 1: Sexual Purity
The Moral Bankruptcy of Evangelical Ethics, part 2: Obedience
The Moral Bankruptcy of Evangelical Ethics, part 3: Proselytization
The Moral Bankruptcy of Evangelical Ethics, Part 4: Where Predators Hide
Daughters of Patriarchy, Part 1: Sexual Obsession
Daughters of Patriarchy, Part 2: Denial
Daughters of Patriarchy, Part 3: Embracing Oppression
Stories About Spirituality and Religion
How Christianity Became Just Another Religion to Me
I'm not saying religion sucks, but it hurt me, okay
Philosophical Reflections
Children are people…and people are children
Children Do Not Belong to You
Human Size
Only Human
Birthday Posts
I try to write a reflection on my birthday every year. I haven't succeeded every year, so I count by the number that there are. As a result, the list below skips some years.
Birthday Post 1 - 2012
Birthday Post 2 - 2013
Birthday Post 3 - 2014
Birthday Post 4 - 2016
Birthday Post 5 - 2018
Birthday Post 6 - 2020
Birthday Post 7 - 2021
Birthday Post 8: Turning 30 -2022
Birthday Post 9 - 2023
Birthday Post 10 - 2024
Another Birthday Post 11 - 2025
Birthday Post 12: 34 things I’ve learned in 34 years of life - 2026
Interviews
It's rare, but I have interviewed some people for my blog.